A Game of Chess
by Cynclaire
Summary: A game of chess brings changes to the band. No fluff or romance intended, and rated for language. Chapter 14 up! R&R, please!
1. Sidewards

** AN: This is my first fanfic, (even though I'm always reading them) so please be nice. It is a series, and I'll post more as soon as someone reviews it. Also, I know there isn't any checkered linoleum in the kitchen (pretend there is) and that it doesn't follow up with Rise of the Ogre; I started writing this before it came out. Thanks, and enjoy**

"King me!"

"We're not playing checkers 'D." Russel gestured to the flimsy cardboard that had originally held the chess pieces that where currently scattered across the black and white checkered linoleum floor of the kitchen. Just a few minutes ago, Russel had been trying to explain the rules of chess to his blue-haired band-mate, and in an attempt to make it easier for the simple-minded singer to understand, he dug up some chess pieces, and because the chess-board was probably somewhere under a heap of toxic waste in the landfill just outside the kitchen, Russel set the game up on the kitchen's floor instead. 2D was trying as hard as he could to pay attention to Russel's advice, but somehow he couldn't quite make a move that wouldn't result in his king being taken down later.

2D sighed, scratched his arse, and pushed his single remaining pawn back to a square somewhere along the side of the kitchen table.

Russel grunted in frustration, and moved 2D's piece back to where it was before.

"Can't move backwards, 'D."

"Wot? That wusn't backwards, that wus . . . erm. . . sidewards!"

2D's scrawny fingers lifted the pawn back to it's shady spot by the table and 'hrmphed' in triumph.

"You can't move 'sidewards' either."

Russel snatched the pawn up and dropped it back in it's original spot.

"Well. . . this game is stupid!" 2D sprawled his legs out on the floor, crossed his arms and pouted.

Russel came very close to telling his fellow band-mate the only reason he couldn't play is because the game required players with an I.Q higher than a banana's, but the two were joined by a very disgruntled and unpleasant Murdoc, sporting his legendary royal purple cape, a pair of his most stained Y-fronts, a bad case of bed-hair and an even worse attitude.

"Morning, Muds!" 2D's pouty expression turned into a bright morning glow as he smiled his little gaped-touth grin.

Murdoc ignored him, which was quite normal when he'd only just managed to scramble out of the winnebago in time for a quick breakfast. He then walked instinctively towards the refrigerator, opened its door and leaned in a bit to locate a bottle of beer stashed somewhere behind a rotten cantaloupe and a carton of orange juice. Murdoc drug his feet across the floor slowly, going out of his way to knock down one of 2D's pawns before seating himself on a stool by the kitchen table.

2D sighed and stood his piece back up, muttering something along the lines of, "I wus just tryin' to be nice, I wus."

Murdoc paid no attention to 2D, or Russel's brief scolding, and snapped open his beer. After taking a few swigs, he took a moment to get his bearings, then stretched out and glanced at the chess game taking place on his kitchen floor. At first he didn't know what to make of it, it was only a chess game, but he didn't want it to be played on his floor, nor did he want 2D to be sitting so close to him, but he knew Russel wouldn't be moving anytime soon unless Russel himself decided to get up, so Murdoc belched, scratched his stomach, rested his elbow on the table and watched as 2D attempted to keep his king and queen from being added to a pile of his fallen pieces next to Russel's ankle.

As 2D's lanky fingers hovered above his rook, Murdoc snickered and said, "Move you're bishop or Russel 'll take it an' then you'll _really_ be screwed."

2D paused and gave a surprised look up towards the bassist, then lowered his eyes to his rook, then his bishop, then to Russel's vacant white eyes.

Had _Murdoc_ just given his _Advice_? Surely it was a mean trick that would result in him getting laughed at; but then again, it was early in the morning, and anyone who knew the foul man knew the best time to get him to act civilized was just after he'd gotten out of bed.

2D chanced another nervous glance at Murdoc, and then slid his fingers around the bishop and moved it to a far corner, where one of Russel's pawns had been located.

"Wow, Muds," Russel chuckled and flicked the pawn to the very small pile of his taken pieces (mostly pawns) on 2D's side. "When did _you_ become the master of chess?"

"Well," Murdoc gloated a bit, "It's a game that came naturally to, me, really. After all, it was the British who created it."

"Actually, Murdoc, chess was invented in India, along with polo and hospitals." 2D piped, sliding his rook up and taking yet another pawn from Russel.

Murdoc's grin suddenly turned into a dark scowl; the satanist hated being corrected.

"Who asked _you_ anyway, Dullard?!" and with one sweep of his foot, he knocked down all the small plastic pieces he could reach and stormed off. The sleepy, peaceful Murdoc that had been sitting in the kitchen had definitely woken up.

Russel sighed and started to reset the game while trying to assure the trembling man in front of him that he really hadn't caused Murdoc's blowup.

2D, however, was uninterested in the chess game now, for his stomach was growling as he registered it was empty.

"Fanks, Russ, but I fink I'm gonna eat breakfast now."

Russel sighed and nodded, gathering up the cheese pieces and dropping into their box.

"Yeah, you eat. I need to remind Murdoc about looking for a new guitarist."

2D twitched a bit, stood up and walked slowly out to the window overlooking the landfill, trying not to think of why they needed a new guitarist for the band in the first place.

Russel's memories of that night flooded back to him: walking in on the unsightly scene, the tightening of his fists and the pounding Murdoc received, kicking Paula out of the band, and the worst part, telling Stu-pot about it.

The poor man cried for a week straight. Murdoc made sure he never crossed paths with Russel for a month, and Russel had to confiscate all painkillers 2D carried around with him, for fear that he would take his own life.

In about two months, the band reassembled, and, "Paula" had become a dirty word even Murdoc didn't have the stomach to use.

Russel felt a twang of guilt for bringing up what the band referred to as, "The Past" and stood up to face 2D, who had his back turned to him and his face pressed against the grimy windowpane.

"Look, sorry 'D. Ima make us some breakfast. Steak and eggs sound good?"

"Mmmfnksrus,"

"What?" Russel asked, screwing up his face and taking out a skillet.

2D took a step back from the window and peeled his face off the glass.

"I said, 'No fanks, Russ.' I fink I'll make me own breakfast today," he said, beaming out onto the landfill.

Russel cocked an eyebrow, "You know you can't used the-"

"Stove-top. Or the oven."

"And you know that-"

"The microwave is not fer drying dishes. I know, Russ."

"A'ight, then," the bulky drummer turned slowly, watching the lanky 2D grin with glee out of the corner of his pale eyes.

First, 2D needed to gather his utensils. Normally, the dish he was preparing required a simple bowl and spoon. But in Kong Studio's, where no one did their dishes, only a bent fork and slightly melted measuring cup were available. 2D didn't mind much, he dropped them on the kitchen table all the same.

Next, 2D needed to pick the dry ingredient. In a cabinet the corner on the right side of the kitchen was a stash of colorful boxes. It was 2D's favorite cabinet, his breakfast/lunch/dinner cabinet. After admiring all the different boxes, 2D selected a pink and red box.

Humming a little tune, he snatched the box and plopped it on the kitchen table.

Next came the liquid, something he doubted would be in the fridge of Kong Studios. Stu-pot opened the door, bent over and peered inside. There weren't any cartons of it, but there was a glass jug filled with a liquid that appeared to be the same color and consistency of what he was looking for, so he just pulled it out and sat it on the table.

After a session of pouring, leveling, pouring, and leveling, 2D exclaimed, "TA-DA!!!"

"A measuring cup full of cereal?"

"Yeah, Russ, innit great?"

"Uh, sure, 'D." Russel turned back to his skillet full of eggs.

A now fully clothed Murdoc strode into the kitchen.

"Watcha got there, Face-ache?"

"Breakfast," 2D smiled as he gestured towards the measuring cup.

"You made it, Dullard?" Murdoc leaned in on the soggy mix of cereal and (what 2D believed to be) milk.

"I sure did!" 2D's grin grew.

"And it's not on fire?"

"Nope!" A still smiling 2D grabbed the fork and began to stir the cereal.

"Well, good job, Dullard." Murdoc gave him a pat on the back, and sat down at the kitchen table, expecting to be fed.

Russel plated a bit of steak and eggs, brought the plate over, and held it above Murdoc's head.

"You gonna put in an add for a new guitarist?"

"Fuck no!" Murdoc crossed his arms, glaring up at the plate as if it had been the one who had asked.

Russel shrugged and carried the plate away.

"Wait, wait, no- I mean yes I'll put in the bloody add, just gimme the damn food!"

Murdoc wailed, reaching out desperately for the plate.

Russel smirked and handed over the food.

** -x- **

THE NEXT DAY

"Did you-"

"Yeah, Russ, I put in the bleedin' add. Said they'd be sendin' o're someone in a week or so."

2D wandered off into depths of his nearly empty mind.

"Wonder what e'll be like. . ."

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** I really hope that wasn't so awful you had to claw your eyes out. Feedback would be nice. :3**


	2. Delivery

** AN: -gasp- Chapter two is up! Please R&R! I hope you like this one, I sure did. **

A WEEK LATER

2D, Russel, and Murdoc were all sitting down on the floor of the kitchen, playing checkers (a game both Murdoc and Russel hoped 2D would be able to understand) and eating off a plater full of boiled eggs and chips.

2D was lying on his stomach, watching as Murdoc and Russel slid the little round pieces back and forth, trying to see what the game was all about. Unfortunately, this butterscotch angel has an attention span no longer than a soap-dish, and his mind began to slide around the thoughts of yesterday.

_How come I always eat kid's stuffs when they eat grown foods? S'not fair. _2D frowned a bit, before reaching into a pocket and retrieving a little tin of pills.

Russel glanced at the tin before asking 2D, "Do you even have a headache, 'D?"

"No. Er, I mean, yeah, I've had one fer about a hour or so. . ." 2D began to rub his forehead to throw in a little effect.

Russel just shook his head and jumped a few of Murdoc's pieces, making the bassist swear loudly and shout, "YOU CHEAT! YOU CAN'T SKIP THREE TIMES LIKE THA'!!!"

Russel gave a bit of a smirk and said, "Oh, but you can. My grandmama call it 'Rainbow jumpin'."

Murdoc stood up and kicked his shoe off, muttering about Russel and his, "Gay-arsed skipping."

As Murdoc went to retrieve his shoe, the doorbell rang.

2D rolled onto his back and sat up.

"When did tha zombies learn ha ta ring doorbells?"

Murdoc swore again, and turned around to go answer the door, still upset from the game of checkers.

Russel yelled after him, "Be nice! That might be our new guitarist!"

Murdoc only lifted a finger in an obscene gesture to reply as he entered the lobby and swung open the door.

"Hello, sir, if you could just sign here," in front of Murdoc stood a delivery man who's cloths had been torn to bits and was missing a shoe. Flesh-eating Zombies strike again.

"Da 'ell? I didn't order anyfing." Murdoc grunted and started to close the door.

"Ah, but, sir, you need to sign this so I can get out of here!" The delivery man stuck his arm through the doorway, hoping to stop him.

"Bloody. . ." Murdoc mumbled and pressed against the door harder.

"What's going on here?"

Russel came out of the lobby and pried the door open.

"Sir, just sign it!"

The delivery man looked close to tears, so Russel signed for it and watched the poor man carry in a crate, mutter a thanks, and run out of the building screaming.

"Who wus tha'?

2D came in to the lobby and sat on the floor, rubbing his head.

"Bloke with a crate." Murdoc answered, inspecting the crate. There were about two dozen stickers plastered all over the splintered planks that made up the crate, a few of them read english (FRAGILE; HANDLE WITH CARE; THIS SIDE UP), but most of them seemed to be written in foreign characters. About ten holds had been jabbed into the crate's lid.

"You didn't order anyfing, did ya Russ? Dullard?"

When both men shook their heads, Murdoc gave the crate a kick.

A scream emitted from the box, followed by high-pitched shouting. This made 2D jump up and back away.

"Oh no, oh _God_ no. Not again!"

Murdoc leaned over and attempted to look into one of the holes in the crate's lid.

"Fink it's another bird who mailed 'erself in?"

Russel frowned and lifted the crate to eye level.

Apparently, this was to much for whatever was inside of it.

With a loud _'CRACK'_ and an even louder _'THWACK'_ the crate exploded into a shower of splinters and broken planks.

This sent Russel flying backwards, swearing as he crashed against a wall, Murdoc had ran out of the room as soon as he heard the crate crack, and 2D, who had ducked down at just the right time, was the only one left in the lobby that was unharmed.

And it was 2D who saw her first. A shaking child, clothed in rags, with what looked like blood smudged over one of her cheeks, tear-stains on the other, her hair overgrown and mangled. Her face was covered in filth, but her stature was completely different than her appearance, although she was shaking uncontrollably, she stood up straight, and her muscles looked tense, as if she were ready to fight off some hellish demon three times her size.

In one hand she held a piece of sleek paper that looked as if it had been torn out of a magazine, and in the other, a battered acoustic guitar.

Even 2D could put two and two together.

The singer crept forward and reached for the paper in her hand.

The girl backed up, and looked at him. He could see now her eyes, which had been hidden by a forest of hair, were a shade of piercing grass green. The girl tore her eyes away and threw the paper at the blue-haired man before sinking to her knees.

2D got on his hands and knees and crawled towards her, reached out, brushed away her hair, and felt her forehead.

"Oi, girl, you're burnin' up!" he muttered, turning back around to see Murdoc standing behind him.

"Wha' is it?" The bassist asked, leaning towards her.

"It's a kid, Muds. I fink she's sick!"

And on cue, she collapsed.

Murdoc straitened up and put his hand on his chin.

"Give the kid a cold bath, then, Dullard, I'll take care of Russ," he said, turning around to see the drummer standing up.

"Nah, I'm a'ight, I just need to get a couple of splinters out my hands," luckily, Russel had been able to block all the splinters with his bulky arms when the crate exploded.

"Alright, then," Murdoc mumbled, turning back to 2D, who was now cradling the child and walking out of the lobby.

"Wha's this?" Murdoc asked himself as he bent over to pick up the piece of paper she'd thrown.

It was the guitarist add Murdoc had put in about a week ago. Murdoc shoved the paper in his pocket and looked down at his shoes, where the girl's old guitar laid.

"Well I'll be damned. . ."

2D was surprised to see how the filth just floated away from the child's body. Of course he hadn't been in when she got in the tub, he didn't feel comfortable seeing as she was a girl and all, so he woke her up by shaking her a bit and showed her to the bathroom. The girl gave a weak nod of thanks and closed the door. He was only checking in on her now. The dirt was swirling away from her skin and mixing in the pink bubble bath he'd poured into the cool water. He shut the door, and waited outside for her to come out. He'd left one of his shirts and a pair of Paula's old short shorts in for the girl, hoping they'd fit. And they did, when she came out, clad in an oversized shirt that fit her like a tunic and shorts she'd drawn up to her hips using her old shirt as a belt, she looked absolutely adorable.

The girl stood before 2D, looking drowsy and trembling under her own weight. She took a step forward, then lunged at him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

2D stood frozen for a while; he hadn't expected _that_. But in a minute or so, a small smile crept across his face, and he bent down to return the hug.

"Yer welcome."

"An' yer a pedophile," came the scratchy voice of Murdoc, completely ruining the moment.

The girl tore away from 2D, who stood and turned around just in time to see the child run towards the bassist, and give him an even tighter hug, one might call it a, "Death Grip."

And what was Murdoc's response to said Death Grip?

"AH! FER THE LOVE OF SATAN! GET'EROFF! GET'EROFF! GET'EROFFA ME!"

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**How'd you like it? I'd love to know. Feedback please! **


	3. Coffee

**AN: So, this is chapter three! The Japanese in this is really fuzzy, as in I got it off the internet I don't know if it's right. -ahem- But never mind that. Hope you enjoy this chapter. :3 **

After locating Russel and giving him a quick hug on his now bandaged arms as if to say, "I'm sorry," the boys carried the girl to the only completely empty room in Kong, room 17.

Russel, who was closest to this room, brought in heaps of blankets, and made a makeshift bed, which the girl slid into immediately. Murdoc left as soon as she shut her eyes, and Russel departed after tucking her in. 2D stayed to sing her a soft lullaby, and when he thought she'd finally gone to sleep, he crept towards the exit, stepped out the room, and closed the door.

As he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, he tripped over the battered old acoustic guitar the girl had brought with her.

He brushed his fingers against the worn wood, and smiled. Could she really play? Of course, none of the guys had ever heard her before, they didn't even know her name, where she came from, and if she knew how to speak english.

2D walked over to the girls new room, glaring at the demon chuckling above him, and opened the door. He walked in, left the guitar next to her bed, and crept out of the room, making his way back to his own sanctuary.

-x-

"Ohayou, Niichan," the girl yawned, Sitting up to face the blue-haired man poking his head into her room.

"Um, right, good mornin' love. How'd you sleep?" 2D asked, slipping into the room.

"Oro. . .?" the girl asked, tilting her head and rubbing her eyes.

"Wot wus tha'?" 2D asked, scrunching up his bushy eyebrows in confusion. Why was she talking all funny?

"Hey, how's the girl 'D?" Russel asked, also entering the room.

The girl brightened up, as she saw Russel's arms were no longer bandaged.

"Ohayou, Niisan!" she smiled, getting out of the pile of blankets and sheets and practically jumping into his arms.

"What did she say?" Russel asked, catching her and lifting her up into the air, making the girl shout and squirm and giggle.

"I dunno, she said somthin' like tha' to me a second ago, I fink."

"Nani?" the girl asked, frowning. Why on earth were they speaking so strangely?

Russel sat her down on the ground again and scratched his head. "Sounds like Japanese." Did Del know Japanese?

The girl suddenly began to feel weak again, and she dropped down to her knees.

"Russ, I fink she's still a lil' sick an' all."

"Nah, I know that look. I think she just hasn't had enough to eat in a while. Lets go feed her." Russel scooped her up and brought her into the kitchen, where Murdoc was enjoying his sixth beer of the day.

Murdoc glanced at the child in Russel's arms, and what was left of his old worn heart softened a bit. She was adorable, all curled up like that.

"Muds? We got any kid-safe food in here? Maybe some fruit or something?"

Murdoc snorted in laughter before heading towards the fridge for another can of White Light. "You kiddin', Russ?"

Russel grumbled. "I guess you're right. I'ma drive into town to buy some food an' stuff for her. I'll be back in a few hours."

He set the girl on a chair at the kitchen table, and fixed her a glass of water before taking off.

So it was just Murdoc, leaning against the fridge, working on out-drinking his hangover, 2D, who was standing in the corner looking uncomfortable, and the girl, who was silently sipping on her water.

"Um, so, Muds. Russ says she speaks japanese," 2D mumbled, trying to start a conversation.

Murdoc grunted, completely ignoring the singer. "Sad lil' thing. Looks like hell, just mopey an' sleepy. . ."

2D frowned and began to space out, gazing at a rather large crack in the ceiling above him, "Yeah, looks like she could use a cup 'o coffee."

Murdoc nodded and looked away, before suddenly asking, "Wot did you jus' say, Dullard?"

2D snapped back to reality, looking confused, "I said somefing?"

"Oh, you useless lil' . . ." Murdoc gave a heavy irritated sigh. "You said she looks like she could use some coffee!" The bassist gave a sharp, green, evil grin.

"Yeah? So?" 2D began to inch towards the door, he hated it when he looked at him like that.

"So, go get her some!" Murdoc exclaimed.

2D stared at him until Murdoc slammed his fist into his hand, making 2D jump and start making the cup of coffee. When 2D had finished, surprised that it hadn't exploded, Murdoc snatched it from him, and filled it to the brim with cream and sugar, and set it down in front of the girl.

"Here, take this love. Give yer some energy," Murdoc cooed, and snickered as he watched her eye it, then finally gulp it down.

The girl's eyes grew wide within seconds, as they began to dart all over the kitchen. And before the boys knew it, the girl had gotten up and practically destroyed the kitchen, ground floor lobby, and cafe. As she went about prying open cabinets and kicking down doors, she began to shriek in japanese.

"Sugoi! Sugoi! Shiawase desu! Hontou ni ureshii!"

The girl whizzed past every room, including Russel's, which was now left in shambles. She found that the carpark was much too scary to venture into, so she just ruined every well-lit room she could get into.

Once she had destroyed nearly ever room in kong, she ran back into the kitchen, walking into a rather troubling scene.

2D was receiving yet another beating from Murdoc. Murdoc was yelling, "YOU IDIOT! YOU RETARD! THIS IS ALL YOUR FUALT! YOU KNOW WOT THIS'LL COST TA FIX?! THIS COMES OUT OF YOUR PAY!"

Murdoc was punching him, kicking him, beating the living snot of the poor blue-haired man. The man who had shown the girl such kindness, her new Niichan.

"OMAE O KOROSU, YARO!"

"What the fu- OUF!" the child had charged at the bassist, head-butted him in the gut, and grabbed his arm, twisting it.

"BAKAYARO!" the girl swung him about, letting him go and watching him hit his head on the kitchen table, blood spilling out of a rather nasty gash on his forehead.

The young girl suddenly fell over, the effects of the caffeine having finally worn off.

-x-

Several hours later. . .

"HEY GUYS! I went to that furniture emporium! You won't believe what I. . . found. . . OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

Russel had just walked into the kitchen, finding a beaten 2D cowering and sobbing in the corner of the kitchen, writhing in pain, Murdoc swearing and covering his forehead where a ton of blood was gushing out, and the girl breathing heavily on the floor, blood smeared over the shirt she was wearing, although it was clear it was not _her_ blood.

"Oh lord. . ."

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**Oh my, a cliff hanger. . . how convenient. Chapter four comes up as soon as I have 5 or more reviews.**


	4. Morphine

**AN: I got six reviews! Yay, that's more than five. :3 This part has no fluff AT ALL, at least it's not supposed to. My friend thinks otherwise, however. So just know, there is no romance in this story.** Thirty minutes later. . .

Russel sighed and sat back in a hard plastic chair, looking at the mess that was his band.

Russel had decided to start off with the toughest job when he'd walked into the kitchen, putting Murdoc in the Geep. That didn't go over to well. First of all, Murdoc couldn't walk very far with that gash in his head, and he wasn't going to let "lardy" carry him around, and even if he would let him, he wouldn't allow Russel to drive his precious Geep.

So plan B, give him some of 2D's painkillers, bandage his head up, and shove 'em in the Geep.

2D was much easier, he was starting to get immune to Murdoc's beatings, but this one hurt him bad. He was bleeding from the lip and had a few cuts on his arms, along with a few dozen bruises. So Russel gave him a wet rag for his lip, and showed him to the Geep.

The girl only required a change of cloths (which, fortunately, Russel had remembered to buy) and some snacks to eat on the way to the ER.

Russel started the engine, and drove off to the hospital.

Within minutes of arriving to their destination, the first, second, and third floor lobbies of the hospital became full with insane fangirls demanding to see their beloved band. A few of them went as far as to set up camp.

Obviously, this forced the staff to remove them physically. But even after they'd been thrown out of the hospital, they were still determined. They began breaking their own arms and legs, and swallowing razor blades, as well as downing entire bottles of rat poison in order to be sent back to the hospital.

So the head nurse cleared a floor in order for them to be alone. One room had been set up for the band, two beds and a couple of chairs. In one of the beds 2D sat, propped up by what he decided to call, "The Magic Folding Mattress." He had complained of pain to all the nurses who visited (and who just happened to be his fans) and they ran off and smuggled him some expensive painkillers, which he snatched up greedily, adding them to his collection of pills.

Murdoc sat in the bed next to him, pumped up on morphine and fast asleep, his head bandaged and his ego severely damaged. After all, he _had_ just gotten beaten up by a little girl.

And the little girl who had given him the beating was sitting across from Murdoc, looking guilty as she fidgeted in her tiny plastic chair. What would happen when he woke up? She knew she shouldn't have hurt him so badly, even if he was hurting her new brother. His last words had been grumbled in a very unsettling tone before he went to sleep, and she was pretty sure he had directed them at her.

The girl, although worried, had eaten _all_ the snacks Russel had bought, even the ones he had bought for himself while they waited in the hospital. Russel didn't mind, though. A wave of stress hit his stomach when he walked into that kitchen, and it came hard enough to knock all his hunger out.

All that blood brought up some very unpleasant memories. But, as long as his band was safe, he'd be alright.

Murdoc stirred from his sleep, opening only one eye at first, then the other. He spat out a few foul words before fumbling for the little remote control on the side of his mattress. After a few minutes of watching him search for the remote, the girl stood up and walked to his bed, frowning as she watched Murdoc wince and pull away from her. She then found the remote, which was hanging under the bed, and handed it to the bassist before running back to her seat.

A few minutes latter, Russel persuaded a nurse to give the tiny girl a quick check up.

They stayed in the hospital for six more hours before being forced out by the head nurse (People had been physically attacking nurses in order to get to the band's floor.)

-x-

"Move it, Lardy!"

"Muds, you're in _no_ condition to be dri-"

"Who're you ta tell me when I'm in the condition ta drive and when I'm not? Now move it 'fore I send ya back into tha' 'ospital!"

The band had just made it into the Geep, barely avoiding the mad fangirls camped outside. While the girl and 2D sunk into the back seat, Murdoc and Russel were fighting over the driver's seat. Russ was sitting in the driver's seat, while Murdoc tried to shove him out the way. This arguing lasted for fifteen minutes, and when a group fangirls (who were hiding on the rooftop) spotted the Geep, Russel gave in and slid over.

Murdoc was a bit drowsy, but he knew full and well that he was driving in the wrong lane, running lights and nearly hitting pedestrians.

When they got home, the young girl was so dizzy she had to be led to the bathroom to throw-up all the tasty snacks she'd consumed.

After a glass of Ginger Ale, the girl went off to her room for a nap while the three men decided to discuss her future.

"I say we keep 'er, she's like a lil' sister. I never had a sister a'fore!"

"Well, it's grea' Face-ache has a playmate an' all, but what if she can't play tha' guitar? Hell, even if she can it'll look like we's doin' something sick, living with a kid her age, one we don't even know, may I remind you," Murdoc leaned back against the table, facing his band-mates.

"Muds, where's she gonna go if we kick her out? She didn't come with a return address (Murdoc checked) or a receipt (Murdoc checked). So what are we gonna do; keep her and shelter her until she can find a home, or kick her to da curb?"

"We dun have ta _kick_ her, we could just, ya know, set her down lightly-"

"Muds!"

2D snickered and leaned over to whisper into Russel's ear, "He's just upset 'cause he got the snot beat outta him by a lil' girl!" 

"Whatever you numbskulls decide should be fine enough," Murdoc grumbled, smoothing down his hair and pushing past Russel on his way out of the kitchen. He would find refuge in the Instrument Room.

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**See? No fluff, and even though there might appear to be fluff and slashiness in the the next chapter, there isn't. So there. :P**


	5. Noodle

**AN: Like I said, no fluff intended. There are a few lines that sound a bit off, so I'm squashing any thought you might have rising up in your mind. I'm _not_ squashing, however, the part of your mind that will enjoy this chapter. :3**

Murdoc knew the girl was sitting there, balanced on a pillow, gazing up at him as he played his bass. She'd been there for nearly half an hour. Every time he shifted positions or cleared his throat, she'd jump and squeak a bit. It was actually quite fun, although he wasn't about to admit it. After a few hours of playing around with the girl by coughing and twitching, he began to slip deep into thought, thumping away at his bass, plucking strings randomly, but tastefully.

The girl sat there, and watching, closing her eyes every now and then, enjoying the vibration of the metallic strings, smiling every time he started to play something slightly familiar. Once she saw that he was completely into his playing, shutting out everything around him, she inched slowly to a rather polished looking acoustic guitar, one of the few Paula had left behind in her rush to leave Kong. The girl could sense that it had been abused, played roughly and poorly. She reached out for it, stroked it gently, then pulled it close, glancing up at Murdoc, making sure he didn't notice her. She sighed softly, and began to play.

At first, Murdoc didn't even noticed. The strumming was quiet and polite, show casing his playing. But as the girl shut her eyes and began to get in to it, Murdoc nearly dropped his bass. He faltered slightly as his eyes flew up to the little girl, but he caught himself. They were now playing on an equal level.

They continue to impress each other throughout the night, and only stopped when the girl gave a gaping yawn and Murdoc cut his fingers on the strings of his bass.

As an awkward silence filled the room, Murdoc set aside his bass and scooped up the girl, who snuggled into the folds of his grey sweater and fell asleep.

Russel and 2D had been in the middle of an argument in the kitchen (if they kept the girl, what would they call her, and if that question even mattered at the time) when Murdoc walked in. They turned to him, shocked to see him carrying the girl, and he looked them both in the eye.

"We're keeping her," he declared, then turned on his heel and headed for the girl's room.

-x-

The next morning. . .

"Wadda ya want, kid?" Murdoc groaned, holding (what was once hot. . . half an hour ago) cup of coffee and trying to interpret what sounded like gibberish flying from the young girl's mouth. 2D and Russel were watching him suffer from the kitchen tabletable, snickering as the girl started to shout in a whiny sort of voice.

"What?! WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU LITTLE-" Russel growled, and Murdoc sighed, grabbing the girls hand, leading her to the fridge.

"You want anything in _here_?" Murdoc groaned again as he watched her gag, although he had to admit decaying fingers and brains wouldn't have sounded very tasty back when he was her age. . . or at his current age, for that matter.

He dragged her to different cabinets, opening them and pointing to things, but the girl only shook her head or stuck out her tongue in disgust.

Murdoc released her hand and plopped down in a chair at the kitchen table.

"Tha's it kid. I ain't got nothin' else. Wot do ya Japanese eat anyway? Sushi? Rice? Noodles?"

And in that moment, the entire meaning of 'Noodle' changed (well, for Gorillaz fans anyway).

The girls eyes widened, and she jumped up and down, squealing, "NOODLE! NOODLE! NOODLE!"

Murdoc's hands flew to his head, groaning yet again. "Stop tha' shouting, kid, yer givin' me a headache!"

But she didn't stop. All day, the only thing that escaped from her mouth was, "Noodle!" And so that is what they named her, Noodle.

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**Tee-hee. Cuteness. Thanks to all the people giving me reviews; it's nice to know someone else is reading my story. **


	6. Hamster

**AN:Yay, a nice long chapter for you guys. . . read and review, please! **

"Awright, Noods, can you say, 'Pain Killer'?" 2D asked, smiling as he held up a tiny white pill in front of the the young girl.

"Ano . . . Noodle?" the girl offered, titling her head and smiling.

"Le's try it again," 2D said, sighing.

At Murdoc's request, 2D had been trying to teach Noodle at least one new word of english. He'd set her down at the kitchen table during breakfast, and then ran off to find some everyday items; cigs, pill boxes, beer bottles, skulls, boxes of old takeout, you know, the usual.

After collecting these objects, he dropped them all on the kitchen table, sat down across from Noodle and held up each item, encouraging her to say their name's in english. However, each time an item was held up, she would either say its name in Japanese, or smile sweetly and ask, "Noodle?"

After about six hours of hearing 'noodle' over and over again, 2D sighed, leaned back in his chair, and stared at the girl, who squirmed uncomfortably in her chair, knitting her eyebrows and kicking her legs.

"Ano, 2D-kun?" Noodle asked, titling her head in confusion. When she heard no reply, she shrugged and slid off her chair, walking out of the room.

"Sore Dewa, 2D-kun!" Noodle whispered, sneaking out of the kitchen, and escaping a boring english lesson. Stuart's only reaction to Noodle's departure was him shouting, "ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM!" and then continuing to stare at the chair Noodle had been sitting in.

-x-

Noodle crept around the studio, running her fingers across the concrete walls, peeking into various rooms, wincing every time she found something absolutely disgusting, which was about every five seconds. Boredom was slowly creeping up on her, and she had absolutely no idea what to do for fun.

The carpark was still to dark and scary to enter, Russel's room was still a mess from her caffeine incident, and her room was practically empty, besides her ancient guitar, a few of Paula's abandoned guitars, some clothes, a bed and wardrobe, and a few dozen plushies that she no longer felt like playing with.

The girl sighed and leaned against a window in one of the many corridors, mumbling about Murdoc's funny eyes, and 2D's funny hair, and Russel's funny accent. She loved it here, although she'd only been there for a week or two, the boys were already treating her like family.

It just bothered her that she couldn't remember a thing before her arrival at Kong. During the night, when she snuggled into bed and 2D's gentle voice sent her off to the realm of dreams, every now and then a distant memory would come back to her in the form of a strange dream; Noodle would be running along side a man, who seemed to be running away from something, but Noodle was too scared to stop and find out what was after them; and for some reason, she felt she knew him, and that in his company, she would be safe. The dream would always end with her being thrown into a crate, and then hearing it being nailed shut. And every time she woke up from this odd dream, soaked in a cold sweat, she seemed to be able to remember little things; like having a paper doll made out of cuts from a magazine, or having tea during a beautiful sunset. All of these memories left her confused and longing for the truth of her past.

Noodle sighed and continued to walk along the corridor, there had to be _something_ interesting to do in the large studio.

-x-

"Noodle! Noodle!" Murdoc called out, in a soft cooing voice. Although his voice was rough and scratchy, if he wanted too, he could make it warm and soothing, kind of like worn sandpaper.

"Noods?" Murdoc inquired, peeking his head around the corner of the wall leading to the corridor containing Noodle's room. He found it empty, (aside from an inch or two of filth scattered out on the floor, but that was normal) and the same went for the young girl's room. "Aw, come on Noods. Where're you at? My back hurts," the aging man complained, rubbing his aching back with his oily hand. In his other hand, he held a plastic cage, covered in some cheap bandana he found on the floor of his winnebago. He drifted off through the corridors, sticking his head into a random room on either side of the long hallways, hoping Noodle would be there, and preferably, playing music.

"Noodle! I've a present for yooou! Come on out now, 'fore I decide to keep it fer myself," sighing, Murdoc set the cage down, and leaned against the hall's wall for support, but ended up sliding down it's slick surface and lighting up a fag to pass the time.

Just then, Noodle came speeding out from the other end off the corridor, squealing some "japanese-zen-bullshit," Holding a piece of steel like a samurai sword, giggling as she swished it about, not noticing Murdoc's straggly legs stretched out like rail-road tracks in the middle of the hall, and Murdoc really didn't feel like moving them, which is probably why she tripped over them, landing with a soft, "Meep" and letting the steel rod fly out of her grasp.

Within seconds, the girl was crying, lying on her back and kicking her legs, with a scrape she'd gotten from the fall, located somewhere around her left knee bleeding out on the concrete; and Murdoc was scrambling to make her shut up, for he knew Russel would be bouncing down the hall ready to break his nose again if she kept it up.

"Darlin', darlin'. Stop tha' crying, I've got a present for you. See?" Murdoc lifted the veiled cage, giving a wicked grin as he watched her eyes light up in wonder, and her tiny legs stop flailing in anguish.

"Wanna see it, love?" Murdoc asked. Even Noodle could figure out what he meant. She began to nod her head and hold out her hands, saying, "Noodle! Noodle! Noodle!"

"Awright, darlin'. Just come o're here, into this room, we'll fix tha' scrape, yeah? Good Girl," Murdoc ruffled her hair and lead her to the bathroom, were he cleaned the scrape (making Noodle cry again) and bandaged it.

After quieting the little girl down, Murdoc lead her out the bathroom and into her room, setting the cage down on her bed.

Noodle grinned, and looked from the cage, to Murdoc, and back to the cage, like any other kid would say, "CanIcanIcanIcanI? Pulease?"

Murdoc resumed his quest for lung cancer and nodded, watching with half-bored eyes.

When Noodle unveiled the cage, Murdoc couldn't help but smile. A tiny, fuzzy, red-haired hamster sat in a bed of straw, it's little nose twitching and all. Noodle literally tore the plastic cage's top away, snatched up the furball, and cried with joy. Finally, something interesting to play with! She grinned, spinning around, cradling the hamster, and giggling as it began to squeak and wiggle. After about an hour of watching the child play with his gift, Murdoc left, a warm feeling left in his heart.

"Maybe she'll make us a record now," he mumbled to himself, smiling as he did so.

"Matte!" Noodle squealed, realizing Murdoc had gone. She gently set her hamster in his, cage, and ran after Murdoc.

"MATTE! MATTE!" she cried, bending the corner of the corridor, and crashing smack into Murdoc as she did so. She stood, blushing, and dusted herself off. "Moushiwake arimasen, Murdoc-sama," Noodle squeaked, then looked up into the mismatched eyes the bassist possessed. She could find comfort in them, sometimes anyway.

Murdoc cocked a brow, "Watcha want, kid?" he asked, but not in that bitter tone, and not in his sweet drippy voice, and definitely not in his, 'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, 2D' voice, more in his casual flat voice he very rarely used. If Noodle thought she was blushing before, her cheeks had to be burning in white fire then. She paused, searched for the right words, then smiled, and shouted, "TANK YOU, MURODOC-SAMA!" and hugged him, not in her fearsome Death Hug (she had learned Murdoc really, really hated those,) but still tight enough to restrict all body functions of the bassist.

"Yer welcome, yer welcome!" Murdoc managed to whisper, and Noodle released him, running off to visit her hamster.

**AN: I've always wanted hamster. . . er, give me feedback, please. **


	7. Onions

**AN: Alrighty, chapter seven! So I got asked about the rating and whatnot. It's rated 'M' because of Murdoc's 'rough'language. . . no romance. I know last chapter was kind of fluffy, but I didn't mean for it to be. You can think of it however you'd like, though. . . well, it doesn't matter as long as it's funny. Oh, and this chapter is kind of fillerish. The plot does go back on track, though.**

"Ohayou, 2D-kun!"

"EEEEEEK!"

"Shut yer fucking trap, numb-nuts!"

"Murdoc-sama?"

"EEEEEEEEK!"

"Tha's it!"

"SILENCE!" Finally came the booming voice of the band's drummer. The poor man had gotten up a half hour before the others, smiling as he poured himself coffee and prepared a gourmet omelet in the silence of the early morning. No one in the studio ever got up this early besides him (and sometimes Noodle, but she always stayed in her room to meditate), and it was this precious time he took to get lost in his thoughts and indulge in the peace of the world around him.

Unfortunately, this peace and quiet was disturbed much too early for Russel. The disruption came in the form of a bubbly Noodle, a shrieking 2D, and pissed off Murdoc.

Russel had flung down his coffee mug and stood up, kicking his chair back with unexpected force as soon as he had silenced the rest of the band. He stomped off the find the source of this wickedness, and found the rest of the

band had slipped into their typical morning routine.

Murdoc was standing besides Noodle, who had her new pet hamster sitting atop her head, nibbling playfully at her hair. 2D was paler than usual, looking terrified as he stared at Noodle's head, standing (or rather frozen in fear) across from Murdoc. Murdoc was growling at both Russel and 2D, half dressed and obviously upset.

Russel turned his hateful gaze on Noodle, but softened it when he realized he was scaring her half to death with his glaring.

Sighing, Russel slapped his forehead and said, "A'ight. Would somebody please explain what the hell is going on?"

2D spoke first, "Well, I was comin' down to check on Noods, and she comes outta her room whens I knock, an' she's got this big rat on 'er head." 2D looked nervously at the creature perched on top of the young girl's head.

"Noodle?" She asked softly, reaching up to snatch the lump of fur from off of her head, and offered it to 2D, who screamed and backed away until she drew back from him.

Then Murdoc grumbled, "Tha' ain't no rat, you nitwit. Tha's a fucking hamster. A pet hamster."

Russel sighed again, "Where did she get a hamster?"

"I gave it to her."

Russel cocked a brow, "You did?"

"Yes, I fucking did!" Murdoc yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Is tha' a crime now?!"

Russel shook his head. "Naw, naw. I just- never mind man,"

Murdoc swore under his breath and looked away. Suddenly Russel asked, "Where's your inverted-cross, man?"

"Tha' fucking bitch stole it," he mumbled, and when Russel and 2D gave him a confused look, and glanced at Noodle a few times, he sighed and said, "Not Noodle, you half-wits. I had this woman over, last night, I was wearing it before I fell asleep. . . woke up this mornin' and both my anti-crucifix and the bitch were gone."

Russel sighed, "Whatever. Get a new one. Wasn't that thing, like, 98 percent rubber anyway?"

"It was the 2 percent lead that counted, mate," Murdoc couldn't help but chuckle.

"What're you laughin' for?" 2D asked, frowning.

"Nothin', I just guess that we're gonna have to get used to these kinds of mornings now tha' we've got Noodle with us."

"Noodle!" Noodle yelled, smiling as she did so. She gave her hamster a pat on the head and said, "Ayame."

"Wot?" 2D asked, looking confused.

"Ayame. Noodle. Murdoc-sama," she tried, but sighed when she only received puzzled looks. She walked over to Murdoc, and handed him the hamster.

"Wot, my gifts aren't good enough for ya?" He asked, frowning.

Noodle then backed away from Murdoc, then skipped up to him and took. She then hugged him, and said, "Tank you, Murdoc-sama!"

"Did she just speak english?" Russel asked.

"Uh, yeah. She did yesterday too. I kinda didn't notice," Murdoc said, thoughtfully giving his head a bit of a scratch.

Noodle cleared her throat loudly, with a frustrated look. Once they had all turned their attention back to her once again, she pointed to Murdoc.

"Murdoc-sama," And then to 2D and Russel, "2D-kun, Russel-san."

And finally to herself and her hamster.

"Noodle. Ayame-kun."

"Oh! The rat's name's A Name!" 2D said, beaming with understanding.

"Ayame."

"Oh. I Am Aye."

Noodle just shook her head and went back into her room.

Murdoc grumbled about his inverted-cross and walked out to the carpark, and 2D sailed off to the TV room whistling some pop song, leaving Russel alone again.

He sighed and went back to his meal.

"Dammit. My omelet's cold."

-x-

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

"Ano, Murdoc-sama? What are you, ah, do. . .ing?" Noodle asked, cradling one of her plushies, this one in the shape of a rabbit with large button eyes, 2D had given it too her.

"Wot? Oh, erm, yeah, I'm . . . I'm cutting an onion, Noodle-girl. Care fer a slice?"

In the kitchen, Murdoc held a large axe, raised far above his head, ready to slam it down into one of the three onions he had lined up on the table. He was obviously trying his hardest not cry.

"Ah, no tank you, Murdoc-sama. Good, uh, luck." Noodle smiled. It had been two months since she had been in Kong, and english was starting to flow into her young mind. It took some practice to polish off the basics, (and it didn't help that 2D was teaching her, with all that improper grammar) and eventually she began to start learning the harder phrases like, "Would you care to feast on the bowels of our common enemy?"

Noodle took a seat on top of one the stools set around the table, gazing up at Murdoc in an eerie sort of way as he swung his axe back and forth, reducing the onions to clear, thin slices.

Murdoc glanced up from his work and at the tiny Japanese girl when he suddenly realized he'd been neglecting to do something for quite a while.

"Noodle, love?"

"Yes, Murdoc-sama?"

"I can't see your eyes."

Noodle frowned, and tilted her head, causing all her bluish-black hair to fall over to one side.

"What do you mean, Murdoc-sama?"

"Er, well, you know, your hair's in the way. I need to cut it."

A look of devastation had formed over her face, or rather, what you could see of it.

Like Murdoc's hair, it grew smoothly in the front, and if it wasn't trimmed, it would creep down and over her eyes, resting at the crest of her nose. In the back, like 2D's hair, plenty of cow-licks could be seen. It was a mess. Russel had even told Murdoc the night before to have her hair cut, or else his nose would suddenly look a little more contorted.

Noodle gave an offended whimper, "I am fiiine Murdoc-sama! My hair is good, please don't cut!" She gave her bottom lip a bit of a pout.

Murdoc wasn't put off easily, "No, Noods. I'm cutting it. Stand still. . ." Murdoc lifted the axe above his head as Noodle shrieked in horror.

"AIIIIEEEK!" As the axe came down, Noodle literally flipped out of her chair and across the kitchen table, knocking over an arrangement of beer cans and onion peels as she did so. Shrieking, the young girl barreled out of the room and into the car-park, completely forgetting about her acute fear of the dark.

Running blindly, she felt her way around the room until her fingers traced across the cool metal of a door handle.

Taking in a deep breath of relief, she slammed her fists on the door.

"TWO-DEEEE! MURDOC IS TRYING TO KILL ME! OPEN THE DOOOOOR!"

Unfortunately for her, Stu-pot was occupying stall number two of the necessary during her time of need.

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**AN: Chapter eight coming up soon. . . give me some feedback in the meantime. **


	8. Mista T

**AN: Joy, chapter eight! Hope you like it. . . you'll see where the plot is going.**

2D had just finished his business when Murdoc kicked in the toilet's door, wielding an axe and a mad look slathered over his face.

"Noodle! Come out, love! I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm gonna heelp ya! Come on, lass. I ain't got all day," he yelled as he rushed into the the bathroom, turning this way and that, until his eyes fell on a rather confused 2D.

"Where've ya put her, Dullard," the bassist growled through his teeth, kicking in a couple of the stall doors.

"Wot? I haven't done anythin' at'all today. I just woke up, actually," 2D dismissed the hatchet Murdoc was clutching as completely normal. "You don't sound too good. You awright, Murdoc?"

"Shut up and help me find the little wrench," Murdoc croaked, pushing open the broken door and dragging the poor singer along with him.

-x-

Noodle had long since given up on 2D, as she didn't have time to waste. When armed, Murdoc was no one to mess with.

Instead, she gathered a few of her most prized belongings from her room and heaved them up to a trap door above her room.

Of course, a demon had once occupied it, but Noodle had put a stop to it's constant jeering in the form of an intense Karate kick.

Noodle had sealed herself safely in the compartment when she realized she'd forgotten the most important thing of all: Ayame.

She pushed back the ceiling tile and lowered her legs down the passage when she heard the devilish, frothing voice of a triumphant Murdoc.

"End of the line, girlie," he snickered, holding a tiny red fuzz ball in his hand, his hatchet in the other.

"Ayame!" She whispered to herself, wide-eyed in horror. "You wouldn't!"

Murdoc smirked and growled, "Oh, I would,"

Noodle's eyes glazed over in tears as she realized her fate, if she ran away or attacked Murdoc, her precious hamster would be gone forever. There was nothing she could do. . . or was there?

"Murdoc-sama, I give up. You cut my hair now. But please spare Ayame," Noodle hung her head in defeat, her beloved violet hair toppling over her face like a dark fountain.

Murdoc grunted and tossed the hamster unto the floor, which scampered away to the safety of a mouse hole somewhere further down the corridor.

Noodle was thankful that her hair fell so far over her face, for there was no telling what Murdoc would do if he saw the wicked smile stretched across her face.

Before anyone could say a word, Noodle took-off, running down the hallway and shrieking fiercely as she did so. She rounded one corner, than the next, ready to kick down the doors that lead to the outside world of the landfill.

She was, however, stopped short by a plump and hearty Russel.

"Oumph!" Noodle murmured as she bounced of his belly, the impact sending her flying across the room.

"MURDOC!" Russel bellowed from the depths of his stomach, which is pretty deep, if you think about it.

-x-

"Sit still Noods. I'm almost done!"

Noodle whimpered as another lock precious of hair fell from her scalp. It seemed like hours; just sitting in a chair while Russel cut and shaved her soft hair. It was torture.

"There!" Russel exclaimed, grinning. "I'm done. Whadda ya think, Noods?"

Noodle looked up and into the toilet's mirror, and began to cry.

"WAAAAH! RUSSEL! BAKA! WHY?!" she fell over to one side, sobbing. 2D and Murdoc stepped in to the toilets to see what all the noise was about.

"Aw, Noodle. I'm sorry. It's na' all bad, ya know? Ya look a bit like Mr. T, now," Russel said, looking down at his shoes.

This was no comfort to the tinny girl. She began shaking and crying even louder.

"You shoulda let _me_ cut it for you," Murdoc said, patting her on the head with one hand whipping blood from his nose with the other. "Really. Ya shoula."

2D giggled and whispered in the young girl's ear, "You're lucky he didn't cut yer hair. Woulda had you looking like Moby."

Noodle snickered a little and whipped her tears on her sleeve.

Russel rubbed his head guiltily, "I'm sorry, Noodle. I can take you hat shopping if you like-"

Noodle propped up immediately, a bright, childish fire burning in her eyes. She shouted in joy, and sprung out of her chair, running out of the room and after a few minutes, back in.

"Russel-san! This one, this one!" She hopped up and down, holding open a catalogue, one of it's pages showed a large hat, circled five or six times in a thick red marker.

Russel frowned and took the magazine from the girl's hands, holding it up to his nose, reading it aloud.

"_'If you want your music on the go, you want a Radio Hat. Bounce and bob your way around town in this fashionable accessory'_ . . . Radio Hat? Where the hell am I gonna get one of those?"

Noodle's eyes widened, a grin spread across her face like a fatal disease, and her breathing became slow and heavy. She opened her mouth and let one word escape out from the jumbled mess in her mind.

"Mall!"

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**AN: Uh-oh. Going to the mall. . . not the best of ideas. Next chapter might be really short or really far away from being published, mainly because I haven't written it yet. ;; sorry.**


	9. Disguise

**AN: Writers block is evil. It made me write this terrible chapter. Sorry it took so long, it will get better. . . I hope. -gulp-**

"The mall. She had to pick the mall!"

"I blame you, Russ. If it wasn't for your shitty haircut, I'd be sitting down an' knocking back a few shots right now."

". . . it's six in the morning. And it's Monday."

"So?"

Murdoc, 2D and Russel stood before a giant wardrobe, sorting through a rather zany assortment of disguises used for such occasions.

"It's no tha' bad you, know," 2D smiled pleasantly as he dove into the ocean of costumes. "Might find a few birds to take back home-"

"Pft! A few, Dullard? Remember the last time we went to the mall?" Murdoc snorted as he held up a bright pink and neon green striped wig.

"Gee, this definitely wouldn't draw attention to little ol' me," he flung the flashy wig back into the wardrobe, where it was engulfed by legions of even brighter colors.

"Fuck it. I'm going as is," Murdoc said, turning towards the door.

"Muds! At least take off tha-"

"Hell no, Russ! That's staying on my neck as long as I still gotta a neck!"

"Fine. Get attacked by thousands of rabid fans. I'm not gonna help you this time, Murdoc," Russel grinned as he found a fading yellow hat and a dusty wig full of dreadlocks. "Perfect."

2D pouted like a seven-year-old the day before the first day of school, "Wot am I gonna wear?"

Russel shrugged. "Find something you wouldn't be caught dead wearing, 'D."

The child-like singer bit his lip and pouted. "That doesn't sound too fun."

-x-

"Mall. . . I'm going to the maall!" Noodle sang, hopping around her room. Noodle was light and carefree; she'd even broken out her best kimono, printed with swans and lotus buds that were splashed with shades of red and white. She squished a small red hat over her samurai-style hair cut, hopping it would cover up the hideous fashion her hair had been left in.

Upon her feet she wore a pair of high-top converse, one of the many pairs of shoes 2D had given her. She laced them up and skipped out of her room, slamming the door and bouncing around the corridor.

"Russel-san! I am reeeaaady. . . Russel-san?"

"Huh? Oh, hey Noodle. You seen 2D? I can't find him."

"Er, no, I have not. Russel-san? Are you feeling well?" Noodle frowned and looked around him.

"Eh, yeah. Why?"

Noodle pointed at his head and said, "You are not bald," her voice was flat and slightly cold.

Russel looked hurt, and pulled off the ancient wig. "It's a disguise, baby-girl. There are some people that might. . . did Murdoc ever tell you about fangirls?"

"No, he has not. What is fangirl?"

"Um, you'd better ask 'D. He's got to deal with them more often," Russel sat the wig back on his shiny scalp, ruminating about the good ol' days when his locks were long and greasy. . . just the way he wanted them.

"Okaay, Russel-saan!" she sang, saluting him and running off to find the singer.

"'D-KUN!" She called, waltzing down the corridors, until she bumped into a blue-haired woman, who appeared to be three or four times Noodle's height. She wore a green hoodie that read, "Street Finder", some dark flare jeans and flip flops, revealing a pair large feet in desperate need of a pedicure. Oversized shades had been placed at the bridge of her nose, covering her eyes completely.

"Ano. . . excuse me. Sorry," she said, staring up at the woman as she put her hand her hip.

"Damn right you're sorry, honey," said the strange woman, her voice cracking like an adolescent boy's. Noodle cocked a brow, and hissed, "_2D-kun?! Is that you?!_"

The woman smilled, and pulled off the shades, revealing a pair of shadowy sockets.

"2D-kun!" Noodke shrieked, falling over in laughter.

"S'not tha' funny, Noods," 2D frowned, placing the shades back onto his nose.

Noodle whipped a tear of laughter away. "Russel-san told me to find you. Tell me about fangirls, please."

2D's expression grew dim as he thought of all the years of torture he'd endured since he joined the band. Not from Murdoc, no, from all those wretched fangirls. . . mailing themselves in, writing letters in blood, popping up in his bed when he woke up in the morning. Tackling him every time he left Kong alone. . .

"Brain-dead girls. . . zombies. Terrible fings, jus' walkin' round 'n round KONG, screaming my name and attacking me. . ." he muttered, looking down at Noodle.

"Tha's why we wear disguises. . . well, me an' Russ do. Muds never does it. Says it's fer pansies an' wotnot. . . you dun have to though, love. No one really knows you yet," he smiled and ruffled her hair.

"Now le's go a'fore Murdoc decides to leave without us. . . again."

-x-

"MUUURDOOOC! SLOOOW DOOOWN!" Noodle wailed, clutching to the sides of Geep for her life.

There were no seat-belts in the back of the Geep, and only the driver's seat-belt happened to function normally, although Murdoc never wore it. 2D's always seemed to get jammed, unbuckled, or twisted somehow, and Russel and Noodle had to hold on to the Geep, praying that one of Murdoc's wild turns wouldn't throw them off for good.

Russel growled, "SLOW THE HELL DOWN, MURDOC, OR I SWEAR I'LL-"

"I'M GONNA PUUUUKE!" groaned 2D, hunching over and ready to release all of his breakfast on the floor of the Geep.

"OH FUCK NO!" Murdoc shouted, pulling the Geep over and punching the breaks. "Get the fuck out, face-ache. You ain't screwing with my car," he said, pointing to a small patch of sandy grass a few paces away.

After throwing-up his tasty meal, 2D crawled back into the Geep, and the band started on the road again, at a much slower rate, at Russel's 'request'.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!" Noodle pipped, bouncing out of her seat.

"No," Murdoc said flatly, managing to hold his tongue as he whipped a bit of blood from his lip.

"I don't see it. . ." Noodle frowned. "Are we lost?"

"No," Murdoc focused on the cigarette hanging loosely out of his mouth.

"I see it! Up ahead!" 2D shouted, pointing like a sailor having spotted land for the first time in years.

Noodle had to try her best to keep from flipping out of her seat and doing a cartwheel on the hood of the Geep. _The mall. . . we're almost there!_

Every magazine she'd torn through had told that the mall was the center of all that was great, shops the size of houses stacked up on one another, escalators and elevators, fountains that granted wishes. . . heaven.

-----------------

**AN: I don't know when the next chapter will come up, but I promise it won't take as long.**


	10. Puke

**AN: OMGSORRY! Sorry, sorry! T-T It took even longer this time! And it's crappy and short. But I really got stuck on this chapter. I'm really sorry. But anyway, here it is.**

"MUUURDOOOC! SLOOOW DOOOWN!" Noodle wailed, clutching to the sides of the Geep for her life.

There were no seat-belts in the back of the Geep, and only the driver's seat-belt happened to function normally, although Murdoc never wore it. 2D's always seemed to get jammed, unbuckled, or twisted somehow, and Russel and Noodle had to hold on to the Geep, praying that one of Murdoc's wild turns wouldn't throw them off for good.

Russel growled, "SLOW THE HELL DOWN, MURDOC, OR I SWEAR I'LL-"

"I'M GONNA PUUUUKE!" groaned 2D, hunching over and ready to release all of his breakfast on the floor of the Geep.

"OH FUCK NO!" Murdoc shouted, pulling the Geep over and punching the breaks. "Get the fuck out, face-ache. You ain't screwing with my car," he said, pointing to a small patch of sandy grass a few paces away.

After throwing-up his tasty meal, 2D crawled back into the Geep, and the band started on the road again, at a much slower rate, at Russel's 'request'.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!" Noodle piped, bouncing out of her seat.

"No," Murdoc said flatly, managing to hold his tongue as he wiped a bit of blood from his lip.

"I don't see it. . ." Noodle frowned. "Are we lost?"

"No," Murdoc focused on the cigarette hanging loosely out of his mouth.

"I see it! Up ahead!" 2D shouted, pointing like a sailor having spotted land for the first time in years.

Noodle had to try her best to keep from flipping out of her seat and doing a cartwheel on the hood of the Geep. _The mall. . . we're almost there!_

Every magazine she'd torn through had told her that the mall was the center of all that was great, shops the size of houses stacked up on one another, escalators and elevators, fountains that granted wishes. . . heaven.

-x-

Arriving at the mall early didn't mean they could avoid the crowded shops and limited parking, which the group realized as soon as Murdoc pulled into the mess of cars and people.

"Fuck. . ." Murdoc mumbled, searching for a place to park. The Geep had been sqaushed between a truck and a car, the truck emitting dark swirls of fumes that flew into the air and around the band, making their breath thick and wheezy. Behind them was a man taking as many pictures of them as he possibly could with his cellphone.

"So much fer the disguises," 2D muttered, glancing back towards the star-struck man. "Wish his phone would die already."

-x-

"It's so hot! Ima die! We've been out here for daaaays!" 2D exclaimed with a dramatic undertone as he wiped small beads of sweat from his forehead.

"We have only been out here for twenty-eight minutes, 'D-kun," Noodle gestured to the clock in the dashboard with one hand and cooling herself down with a makeshift fan with the other.

"Huh?" the singer lifted his head lazily and glanced down at the digital clock the young girl had pointed out. "Oh. We'll, we still 'avn't moved." Noodle gave an irritated sigh and handed him her fan before she began to make a new one for herself.

"Shut yer trap, Dullard, or I'll shut it for you," Murdoc mumbled as he stood on his seat, looking for a away around all the sluggish traffic.

2D, however, was uninterested in Murdoc's threat. "I fink I see vultures," 2D turned to Russel, who was half asleep in the heat of the sun. He looked as if were seconds away from melting into a sticky puddle. "You awright, Russ?"

The drummer glared at 2D, who whispered an apology and went back to his complaining. "Noodle, couldn't we have ordered yer hat online or somefing? This is awful!"

Noodle's eyes grew wide as she realized she _could_ have ordered the hat from the catalog in the back or as 2D had asked, gotten it off the magazine's website. She looked down at her feet, and turned her head away from her brothers, blushing.

"Gomen."

"Gomen. . .?" 2D asked, bunching up his eyebrows in confusion.

"_Gomen. . ._ sorry," Noodle said in her tiniest of voices, clearly ashamed.

"Sorry?!" Murdoc hissed, stepping off of his seat and looking down at her. "Sorry?! The fuck? We could've _ordered _it?! We've been out here for _nothing_?!"

"Gomen nasai, Murdoc-sama! Kudasai, I didn't know!" Noodle cried out, turning to face him.

"_You didn't know_?! You didn't think to check?!" Murdoc's voice had risen to a boiling point, which signaled an overheated Russel to intervene.

Unable to do much more than lift his arm, Russel reached out and grabbed Murdoc's head, gently pushing him back in his seat.

"Leave her. . ." Russel was too tired to finish his statement, but Murdoc got the idea.

Tears had formed their way into Noodle's eyes, so 2D slid to the back-seat to comfort her while Murdoc continued his search for a pathway leading to a trafficless carpark.

"I think I see a way out of this. . ." Murdoc gave a heavy sigh of relief leaned back in his seat. "Brace yourselves."

2D had just managed to scramble back into his seat before Murdoc took off. Murdoc drove the Geep through a forest of carts and speed bumps, taking advantage of the brief moments of lifts by punching the gas and gliding over quite a few obstacles.

And sure enough, Murdoc had found himself a parking space. All the band members were still conscious, which was a small miracle in itself.

A stir-crazy 2D was the first to escape from the confines of Geep, running like a mad man towards the glossy-windowed entrance of the mall, yelling "AIR-CONDITIONIIIIIING!" on the way. Russel and Noodle followed him, eyeing the singer as if he were a mad man, leaving Murdoc to lock up and trudge slowly behind them. They had made it.

---------

**Arhgfl. I know, it sucked. I'm sorry, guys. **


	11. Pull

**AN: Bwahaha. . . really short chapter. Hope you like it. :3**

"AIR-CONDITIONING!" screamed 2D, a blue blur zooming past the mall-goers strolling through the carpark.

"AIR-CONDITIONING!" the singer repeated, as he approached the two swinging glass doors of the mall. Sticking his arms out in-front of him, in order to push open the door, he sprang foreword, increasing his speed tenfold; and then-

_OOUFF! _

-darkness.

-x-

_Fifteen Minutes Later_

"Fucking Dullard," the voice echoed out in the nearly-empty mind of the young singer.

"Murdoc?" 2D managed to mumble, turning his head to the source of the scratchy voice that belonged to the bassist.

"Yeah, Face-ache?"

"I-I can't see!" 2D bolted up right, turning this way and that, unable to see anything but black fog.

"Try opening your eyes, Dullard."

"O-oh. Yeah," the singer opened his eyes a bit, allowing slivers of light to filter through his lashes. Slowly, he widened his dark eyes, and looked around to find Noodle fanning him with her magazine-tear-out fan, Murdoc smoking a fag while looking down at him like he was slobbering dog, and Russel propping him up with his shoulder.

"Er, fanks. I'm fine. . ." 2D scrambled to his feet. "I fink those doors are locked," 2D pushed against the doors again, and turned to the rest of the band.

Noodle titled her head slightly, drawing her sleeved arm up to her mouth to cover a smile, while Russel shook his head and Murdoc crushed the smoking cig beneath his boot.

"2D-kun?" Noodle said from behind her sleeve. "That is a _pull_ door."

2D's eyes fell to the ground and his cheeks burned with fire as Russel gave him a pat on the back and pulled open the door. Murdoc and Noodle walked past him, and 2D shuffled behind them.

It didn't take long for the group to separate. While Noodle was forcing the band to stop and look at the various fountains and had them sport change for her to through into pools of water, Murdoc slipped away from the band, looking for an "Adult Films" store, and Russel bounced off to the food-court. By the time Noodle and 2D had realized they were the only ones left, it had been 25 minutes.

"Eh, Noods. S'pose we should buy you tha' hat now, yeah?" 2D asked, pulling her away from another large fountain before she could ask for more coins.

"Actually, 2D-kun, I was hoping that I could visit another store while we were here." Noodle said, looking back at the water-spitting stature behind her.

"Sure, love. Which store is tha'?"

"You'll see! Come on!" Noodle grabbed hold of the singer's hand and dashed off toward the other side of the mall.

"Why do I get the feelin' somethin' bad's going on?" 2D muttered to himself as he trailed behind the young girl.

------------

**Dun dun duuuuuun. Where could they be going? I don't know yet. D: Just kidding. Feedback please! I'm hungry (eheh. . . bad joke. Sorry)**


	12. Sanrio

**AN: Ack! I'm sorry it took so long to write this. . . I've been a bit out of my Gorillaz fangirl self, which is really odd. But, I've forced myself back to my normal self, and managed to forge an incredibly short chapter! Woot! **

"Eeek! He's so cuuuuute!"

"Lookit his hair! It's so pretty!"

"His eyes are sooooo mysterious!"

"I luff him!"

"No way, you're to ugly for him!"

"Get away from him! He's _mine!_"

"Oh lord, Noodle! _Please hurry up!_" 2D pleaded as he felt yet another tug of his pant leg.

"In a moment, 'D-kun! I don't have _any_ of these plushies!" Noodle called over to the next aisle, as she dumped just about everything she saw into a pink and white, "Hello Hello Kitty" basket, while 2D waded his way through a sea of young girls, who all stared up at him with love in their eyes.

"Noods!" the singer whimpered as he shook one of the drooling girls off of his leg.

"_Hold_ _on 2D-kun!" _she hissed, holding up a finger to silence him as she gazed at the store's assortment of sugary delights.

2D sighed and looked out over all the girls that had crammed themselves into the small pink shop just to stare at him, and shuddered as he thought of the percentage of these children that would become stalking fangirls.

Then, by the grace of every deity 2D could think of, the vocalist came up with an excuse to slip out of the store. "Noodle!" he called out over the heads of the fangirls-in-training. "I'm going out to get us slushies! Be back in a bit!"

"OK, 'D-kun!" replied Noodle, who was only half listening to the singer as he struggled to free himself from the arms of the young girls. When he finally tugged away from the last of the clinging girls, 2D ran out of the store and as far away from the girls as possible before stopping at an electronics store to catch his breath. As he leaned against a stack of broken DVD players, the sound of a shrieking woman caught his attention.

-x-

"Um, sir, you've got to _buy_ something if you want to _stay _in here," said the woman standing behind the counter.

She was heavy and slightly old looking, with out dated make-up blotched over her wrinkled and warted face. She had thick-rimmed glasses and her stringy greased hair in a loose bun. She wore a faded blue vest that was at the very least five sizes to small for her "plump" figure, and upon the vest was a cheap laminated piece of paper with the name "Darlene" scribbled on it in thick red magic marker. Murdoc had a hard time believing that she even worked the adult store that he was standing in at all.

"I know that, thanks. I'll buy somethin' when I _see_ somethin'," Murdoc grumbled, trying his best to ignore the giant mound of blubber behind the counter. He thumbed through the dry selection of videos and magazines. "I've seen better shit on the Interweb."

"Inter_net_," corrected the woman, glaring at the bassists through the dirty lenses of her glasses.

"Whatever," Murdoc hissed as he strode out of the store.

"Bitch seriously needs to get laid," Murdoc muttered under his breath as he finally escaped the woman's hate-filled gaze. "Maybe Russ'll have 'er." The bassists snickered as he wandered around the mall.

_Er. . . now what?_

-x-

"I'll take a number four. . . a number eight. . . can you super-size those? Thanks. . . uh. . . how about a coke for each. . . an extra order of fries. . . I'm sorry, chips. Yeah, super-size that too. And uh. . . a small salad," Russel glanced behind him and a small group of teenagers cracking jokes about his size, and suddenly, the drummer regretted having ordered so much food. Sighing, Russel pulled out his wallet and paid the acne-ridden kid behind the counter for the meal, and took the greasy bags to a table near the corner of the large Food-court.

_Stop staring at me, dammit!_ Russel thought to himself as he unwrapped one of the large burgers he had ordered. Before he could bite into the burger, one of the kids had thrown a wad of somewhat greasy napkins at Russel's shiny bald head. The drummer whipped right around to see who'd thrown the disgusting ball of yellow napkins, but the kid had slipped away and back to his group of friends.

Frustrated, Russel threw away his food and stormed out of the Food Court. There had to be something better to do than be judged at the Food Court be a group of naive strangers.

-----------------------

**Er. . . did you like it? Please tell me:3 Ow, you'll find out what's become of Noodle and 'D in the next chapter. **


	13. Filler

**Well, I've been having a God-awful case of writers block, and it's killing me that I haven't updated in ages. So, I've decided to put up a filler, based off of a series of dreams I keep having about the Gorillaz. I apologize for lack of stories, but I hope this can tide you over whilst you wait. **

"Dammit, 2D. Out of my bed! Now!"

"But I-"

"OUT!" I shrieked, my eyes wild with anger and sagging with tiredness. I was wearing my favorite fluffy pink bathrobe, the kind you wear so often you sometimes forget to wash it. Red "Froot Loop" themed flannel pajamas hung loosely from my waist, and my oversized black-and-white long-sleeved Gorillaz T-shirt fluttered about in the cold rubbish smelling breeze that blew about like a bird trapped in a box throughout the carpark.

2D, who was only dressed in off-white boxers, groaned and kicked out of the sheets he'd managed to get tangled up in. "But I'm tired!" he whined as he stood up and stretched.

"Then go sleep in _your_ room!" it took about five minutes of awkward silence for me to realize he _was_ in his room, and _I_ was the intruder.

"But I thought. . . I mean. . . well, tha' is my bed, isn't it?" I pointed at the cherry-wood, four-post bed I'd been sleeping in for seven years. It was unmistakably mine, for the pink comforter and giant pillows I'd purchased with my own hands were still on the hard spring mattress my mother had bought me.

2D scratched his head and shrugged. "I dunno. Guess it tis." 2D picked up a random screen-tee, depicting a muffin screaming, "ARMAGEDDON!" and slipped it on.

"Go outside. I've got to put on some pants."

Shrugging, I stepped out of the room and slammed the concrete door.

For a moment, I tried to figure out what time it was, because I couldn't remember if I was trying to go to sleep when I'd screamed at Stu or if it was morning and I just went in to get something when I saw him in my bed.

"I'm fucking cold," I muttered, snuggling up in my bathrobe and heading off towards Murdoc's crashed winnebago.

I slammed my hand on the door a few times, using the other hand to clumsily tie my robe together.

"Murdoc?! Have you got a heater in there? A burning cat perhaps?"

My yelling only echoed ominously around the carpark. I shivered and shuffled to one of the windows. Using my sleeve, I rubbed away a bit of fog out of the grimy window and peered in.

"Yo ho ho an' a bottle ah. . . scotch!" Murdoc was swinging about in his usual drunken manner, half naked with a scarf tied around his forehead. I stood on my toes to see a little better, and saw a woman starring up at him with glassy eyes- or rather, eye. One of the two was covered with a a cheap eyepatch. "Did ja see the end o' Piiiiiirates? It was fucking stupid."

"Are you spying on Muds?" 2D chirped from behind me. Embarrassed, I spun around and said, "Nuh. . .no. You ready then?"

". . . Aren't you gonna get 'em?" the singer asked, tilting his head.

"Er. . . no. He's uh, busy. Hows about we go find Noodle?"

2D smiled, revealing a missing row of teeth.

2D and I walked toward the lift, looking around. It must've been winter, because I could see my breath puffing out from my lips.

"Wha' day is it?" 2D asked once we'd been greeted be Shaun's "It's there" and stepped in.

"I dunno. Thursday?" I guessed, breathing in the smell of cigarettes and piss.

"If it's Thursday she'll be outside."

"Outside in this weather?"

"It's there!" chimed Ryder as the doors opened, and I made to step out. 2D grabbed me, and I looked down to see the bottomless pit off the edge of a cliff.

"What the 'ell?!" I grunted, stepping back. 2D pointed to a small black dot in the thick winter fog. As it grew bigger, I realized it was Noodle's flying windmill, and Noodle was meditating on it. . . on her head. Upside down. Wearing nothing but a tight tunic and red summer shorts.

"Is she alright?" I asked, leaning in towards 2D.

Stu opened his mouth wide, his eyes glaring evilly as he said-

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEE-

Wham! My hand slams down on my greyish yellow alarm clock, and I look over the side of my bed to see that all my blankets had fallen off of me while I slept.

"Dammit. I wus dreamin'"


	14. Cinnabon

**AN: YES! I wrote the next actual chapter! I hope you like it, it took me forever to get over my writers-block. Oh, and I thought I should mention, this story isn't about Gorillaz as a band, it's about Gorillaz as a family. So you won't hear about concerts and records and all that in this story. Anyway, enjoy:3**

"2D-kuuuuuuun! Hurry up!" Noodle sat with her arms crossed, leaning against the counter with all her precious items sitting beside her. 2D had left ages ago, and still hadn't come back with her slushie. What's worse is that 2D hadn't thought ahead far enough (surprise, surprise) to give the young girl money to pay for everything before he left, so she was forced to wait until he came back if she wanted to keep everything she'd selected.

Of course, there was always the option of shoplifting, Noodle had tossed the idea around before discarding it. Murdoc was the only one foolish enough to try _that_. Noodle giggled at the thought of Murdoc sneaking out of the pink store with a basket fool of girly toys fit for a ten-year-old.

Sighing, Noodle sat up and looked down lovingly at her basket. "I hope 2D-kun didn't forget about me," she muttered, walking out of the store, dragging the long silky sleeves of her kimono behind her. "Oh well, I'll just go find 'D-kun myself!" she said, smiling as she walked around aimlessly.

-x-

A small, glimmering trail of silverish tears had formed a path under 2D's puffy red eyelids and down his pale cheeks. He sniffed loudly as he pulled his red sweater sleeve up to his eyes and wiped away his tears.

"Is he cryin' now? Tart."

"Fucking scene kids. Dressin' like tha'. . . hey kid! You're loitering now. Buy something or get out." 2D turned to see two fat and balding employes, each leaning against boxes of returned goods and smoking, despite the rather large "_No Smoking Indoors_" sign hanging behind them. 2D turned back around to stare at the credits that followed "Cannibal Massacre", which had been playing on one of the large display TVs in the store front. The brilliant ending had left the singer in tears, as usual.

2D slowly trudged out of the store, a tad bit confused. What was he doing anyway? He was strolling toward the elevator when the divine smell of sugar and cinnamon greeted his nose. He breathed in the smell for a few glorious moments before he looked up to one of the highest floors of the mall: The Food Court. The had to have been selling cinnamon buns up there, and he had to have one.

"Hey Stu! What're ya doing jus' standin' there looking daft?" 2D whipped around to see Murdoc walking towards him, hands thrust in his pocket and a wicked green grin on his face.

"Hey Muds!" 2D waved, waiting for him to catch up.

"So where're you going?" Murdoc asked in wide-eyed wonder as he gazed up at the giant glass elevator before him.

"Top floor. They've got cinnabons up there! Come on, I'll buy you one!" 2D grinned, stepping towards the elevator.

"Eh, nah, I'm uh. . . fine down here," the bassist gulped, looking around and avoiding a confused looking 2D.

"What, are ya scared of the lift?" 2D chuckled.

Murdoc shot him a look nasty enough to make a child cry.

". . . you. . . _are_ scared?" 2D's face fell, and for a moment, Murdoc could see the compassion in his blue haired friend. Of course, all that didn't last very long.

"Murdoc's scared o' da lift! Satan-worshiping, anti-crucifix wearing "bad boy" Murdoc is 'fraid of elevators! Christ, yer killin' me!" 2D was doubled over, crying as he laughed hysterically over Murdoc's fear.

"Shut it, numb-nuts!" Murdoc growled, slapping him on his back.

"Ow! Ya didn't 'ave to do that!" 2D said, standing up slowly. "Look, I'll show ya there's nothin' scary 'bout elevators! And you get a cinnabon! Come on!"

Before Murdoc could reply, 2D had dragged the bassist into the lift and the doors had closed.

". . . Oh, I _hate_ you."

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**Did you like it? Feedback is loved!**


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